Unapologetically Asian: Trevor Lui 雷卓凡:以食物治癒童年傷痕

 

English 英 : Renée Tse • Chinese 中 : Ophelie C

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F ood has always been an integral part of Chinese culture — a reason to bring families and friends together as they share life over a grand display in the centre of the table. Over the last couple of years, food has become the subject of conversations surrounding Asian stereotypes and racism, with stories of childhood snacks, familial traditions and recipes flooding social media feeds. And while nostalgia and pride banded the community together, it also revealed the hidden trauma many Asians encountered growing up in Canada, including Trevor Lui.

“I was embarrassed when my mom talked Chinese to me in public or packed my school lunches. I didn’t want to open my lunchbox because all you saw were peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I wanted to be a part of the norm,” says Lui, a restaurateur, cookbook author and overall trailblazer for the Asian-Canadian community. “I'm ashamed of my younger self now — I should have shown pride for my parents and heritage at a much younger age.”

Making up for his past failings, Lui ihas become a force when it comes to pushing for representation in the food and hospitality industry. In two years, Lui launched chili, spices and tea offerings under his brand Ho Mei Foods and penned The Double Happiness Cookbook (which is shortlisted in this year’s Taste Canada Awards). If that wasn’t enough, he co-founded the culinary talent agency Quell with his sister Stephanie Lim-Valentim, to broaden BIPOC representation while finding time to open restaurants like BaoBird and his most recent venture, Superfresh.

As a way to make up for his younger self’s lack of pride, he hopes his latest “obnoxiously Asian” 4,000-square foot night market-inspired food hall in downtown Toronto will spark familiarity with its decor — from fluorescent pink and green hanging baskets to the (faux) ‘Remove Shoes’ signage at the door — and showcase Asian cuisine at its finest under one roof. "We want the food here to be a vessel for people to share their stories.”

「我們以至這個社會,覺得中餐應該值多少?」加籍華裔餐飲企業家雷卓凡(Trevor)簡單的一道問題,發人深省,也揭示加拿大亞裔長年以來所承受的不公和辛酸。大概他的感受尤其深刻,因為關乎童年經歷及傷痕,坦言直至數年前在餐飲業大展拳腳,

才開始治癒內心隱藏的傷口。這些年,他打造了十多個亞洲風味餐廳及食物品牌,包括Kanpai Snack Bar、Shook Noodle、Fat Rabbit、Joy Bird、Yum Cha等,創辦了Quell餐飲業經理人公司,撰寫了他的處女作《The Double Happiness Cookbook》,並與夥伴在多倫多市中心開了以亞洲夜巿為主題的食堂Superfresh。Trevor致力傳承亞洲飲食傳統精髓,希望以食物作橋樑,推動亞裔進一步融入社會,期盼加拿大亞洲人可以得到平等的尊重。

What does “into the unknown” mean to you? How do you embrace uncertainties?

“When I was working corporate, I was the only Asian sitting at boardroom tables for the last 20 years, whether lobbying for the city or for Chinese-Canadians. The unknown is for those that still don't know anything about us. We probably just check a box for some businesses and then they move on to the next thing that's hot. There needs to be some structure and some investment within our communities because we don't talk about the intrinsic value of what the Chinese community brings to this country, from the days of building of the railroad to internment camps and beyond.”

On representation, do you feel like it's equally an external problem vs. an internal problem in the community or do you feel like it's more oppression from the external community?

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“It’s both. I grew up with — not hate — but with a stigma within my own community where Hong Kong-born children didn't like Canadian-born Chinese. I also had to deal with being an Asian kid in a community that was mostly Black and Italian. This is all trauma that is embedded in us because we were taught to live with it, and then compress it. It is only as adults that you understand that what you went through is nothing compared to what your parents and grandparents went through. But then you look at today, at my daughter, and it's a different type of struggle. There are layers of foundation that are built through generations, but we actually haven't addressed all those generations of trauma. The last two years have been a complete a-ha moment for me. I don't know if everyone gets that moment, but maybe it's the work that I'm doing and the stuff that we do and see every single day.”

What are some challenges in your role as an advocate and leader in the culinary space, and also in the cultural space?

“There is still a level of denial in terms of the work that needs to be done. We've all been talking about the same thing forever and it's not my job to educate people anymore. If you can learn to ride a bike or make a sourdough starter, you can learn about aspects of society that need help. We share the same stories with my friends from the Black and Indigenous communities. It’s very important to understand that without the fight and struggle they have done and laid the groundwork for, we actually wouldn't have a voice right now. Another big struggle is how do we ensure that the conversations we're having now aren't only this group here. A couple of weeks ago, Quell hosted a panel talk and my sister was on the panel. It was about women and food (particularly the underrepresented) and 90% of the audience were women of colour. Now, if that audience was 90% white male, then I’d be “cool, people are listening.” That's something we're not recognizing — we need to figure out a way to broaden our audience.”


王者以民為本,而民以食為天。二千多年前西漢時代的古語形容了民食的重要,與親朋好友圍在飯桌前一起大快朵頤,品嚐家傳食品,人生一樂也。但這種簡單的幸福對身在加拿大的華人來說,殊不容易。種族和文化衝擊令吃中餐、煮中菜也或會受到歧視,就連愛心飯盒都夾雜甘苦。Trevor憶述童年往事時不免愧疚:「小時候,媽媽當眾跟我說中文,或為我準備的飯盒,都令我感到尷尬。我實在不想打開飯盒,放眼四周同學吃的都是花生醬果醬三文治,我亦想成為主流的一部分啊!但現在我會對童年的自己感到羞愧 —— 我應該在更年輕時就為我的父母和傳統感到自豪。」

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不過,最可悲的是歧視不只限於膚色、種族,本是同根生,成長地方的文化差異也促成了不必要的鄙視。「我的成長雖算不上是種族仇恨,但伴隨我成長的是一種污名感。小時候,周圍香港移民的小朋友會鄙視加拿大土生土長的華人。作為一個亞裔孩子,我還要融入這個主要由白人組成的社群。我們選擇逆來順受,並壓抑內心真正的感受,長年累月構成了我們內心深處的創傷。當然,到長大成人時,你會明白經歷過的一切與你父母、祖父母輩相比根本微不足道,但再看看現在,看着我的女兒,又會發現有不一樣的掙扎。」Trevor發現,傷痕是一代又一代累積的,但大家一直沒有好好認真面對和處理。

Food was a big part of the #StopAsianHate conversation. Why do you think it was? What do you think we, as the Asian community, still need to work on?

“You can connect it back to the stories and stereotypes with wet markets in Wuhan and in China. Some people will refuse to listen to the explanation of what the definition of a wet market is, however, what they don't know is that St. Lawrence Market is considered a wet market. But one person posts a picture of a cage with a monkey and all of a sudden, we eat cats and dogs and we spread a virus around the world — that is all connected to food. There’s also the narrative that all our kitchens are filthy and dirty. My young cooks do not understand the breadth of what I'm trying to tell them when I tell them to keep the kitchen clean because of how people rate Asian kitchens compared to a Western kitchens. If it's just mildly messy or dirty, we are a dirty, Chinese kitchen. This also goes back to how we believe our food deserves to be priced, because that's what society believes. We tell our friends to go to this Chinese food court to eat a three-item combo with a drink for $5.99 and then we ask how Mimi Chinese charges $45 dollars for it. We recently did a study on duck: you can go to a French bistro and pay $42 for a duck confit, which is just a breast. However, if you go to King’s Noodle Restaurant and buy the entire duck, it's $33 dollars — but both ducks come from King Cole Farms. It's the same duck.”

過去兩年的疫情加劇了歐美部分人對亞裔的仇恨,令他們對中式街巿和濕貨街巿的成見更加根深蒂固,所以Trevor在訓練新入行的亞裔廚師時,特別強調保持廚房整潔的重要,認為要做好自己才能身體力行推動反亞裔仇恨運動(#StopAsianHate)。

Trevor慨嘆:「很多很多的成見都與食物有關。部分人會拒絕了解濕貨街巿的定義,不知道聖羅倫斯街巿(St. Lawrence Market)也算是一個濕貨街巿。社交媒體上,只要有人發放一張猴子被關在中式巿場籠子的相片,突然之間所有華人都會一概認定愛吃貓狗、就是傳播疫情的元兇。也有一種成見認定華人的廚房都是又髒又亂的……只要稍微混亂一點,就認定中餐館的廚房很骯髒,這也影響中餐的定價,我們以至整個社會也經常把中餐看低一線。我們最近拿鴨肉做了一個研究,在法式餐館一份油封鴨腿(Duck Confit)可以定價加幣$42,但多倫多唐人街的富豪麵家的燒鴨全隻卻是加幣$33, 然而兩隻鴨都是來自同一個農場,基本上是同一批鴨!」不得不承認,普羅大眾對各國菜式的定價差異,某程度上就是建基於種族成見。

2022年4月開幕的Superfresh可說是幾位亞洲人合夥尋根、搭建亞洲傳統融入社區的橋樑。Trevor說早年已認識原址The Annex Food Hall其中兩位老闆James Lee和Dave Choi,但直至2021年夏天再跟James吃早餐聊天,才促成這尋根之旅,他說:「我們都覺得,若然可以為自己為亞裔做些超級『雷』的事,實在很不錯,這其實是處理我們隱藏的童年傷痕,那就像《現代女人心》的安琪拉貝茜。那真的是深深吐一口氣的時刻,因為一切都是我們深愛的,讓我們憶起童年成長的東西。我們抑壓多年,一直不知道原來自己對它們有如此深厚的情感,現在就讓我們好好把它發揚光大、吐氣揚眉。」

How did this idea of creating an Asian night market in Toronto come about?

“I met James Lee and Dave Choi, two of the three owners of The Annex Food Hall a few years ago and they wanted me to put in one of my brands. I wasn't quite ready for it and then, COVID-19 hit. In summer 2021, James gave me a call and we sat down over breakfast. We both thought it’d be cool if we did something for us — something super and obnoxiously Asian. It goes back to dealing with hidden trauma because if you take a look at the space, it’s almost like Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale. This is like one big exhale moment because everything in there are things we loved or are reminded of our childhood growing up. It’s a way for us to celebrate the things that we didn't know we loved so much after suppressing it for many years.”

What do you hope visitors experience when they come through the Superfresh doors?

“We always said that there are multiple tiers to Superfresh’s success. Firstly, it’s primarily for our community. When they walk in, there's automatically a sense of familiarity — we see it in their body language. They're instantly taking pictures of things that remind them of their childhood. Then there are those that aren't Asian but who love the culture or have travelled there, which also gives them a sense of familiarity, while getting enlightened by other things about our culture. And then there's the complete novice: we want them to walk in and feel safe in coming to learn about things they may not have known about Asian culture.”

If you had to explain what your agency is about in one sentence to a stranger, how would you explain it?

“It's tough because you'd have to understand what making space means, right? Our goal is to reclaim space, but that would assume it was taken in the first place, but it was never taken because it was never given to us. We want to convince people to make room for Asians and to have a voice in a space where traditionally we are underrepresented. I wish I could say it in one, easy sentence, but it's so difficult because it's still such a large learning curve for so many people. Many of our clients understand it, reupping and doubling down on it, but then there are some out there that still say, “We need an Asian for this campaign. That chef Eva Chin looks pretty cool — she’s gay and she’s Asian.” Check, check, check. These are things that we still need to deal with.”

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佔地達4,000呎的Superfresh設計照顧了不同層面的需要。對亞裔來說, 夜巿的裝潢勾起他們的童年回憶,給他們一種熟悉感;就算不是亞裔人亦會勾起亞洲旅遊回憶。他們更希望本身不熟悉亞洲文化的一眾,可以透過食物和餐廳裝潢好好認識亞洲文化,畢竟對加拿大不少人來說,亞洲人仍然是一種「未知」。Trevor坦言:「過去20年我在酒店、賭場和會議中心等餐飲機構工作的時候,亦出任加拿大旅遊局董事會成員,努力為這城巿或為加拿大華人做遊說工作,我一直是董事會裏唯一的亞裔人。那種未知其實是他們仍然對我們種族的一無所知。」他解釋,某些加拿大人眼中華人只是生意的元素,未能做到真正的融入。他認為華人本身都有一種責任:「我們的社群是需要投入去推動一些觀念建設,過去我們沒有強調華人賦予這國家的內在價值,從以前修建鐵路以至拘留營等年代一直是這樣。」

In your experience so far, which industry and age group show the most interest in inheriting Chinese culture?

“I don't think you have a choice when it comes to inheriting culture — it's automatic. It's not like it's a monetary inheritance. Part of our role is recognizing and understanding that it is something that we have to deal with. But we also have to do a better job of having difficult discussions with our youth, talking to them about the groundwork that has been built for them and what their role is to preserve everything that's been laid out in front of them. Why do the school systems not talk about the role of Chinese Canadians who have helped build this country? Why are we not talking about the late 1850s mining of gold or the building of the railway? Why do we not talk about internment camps? We are just as much a fabric of the building of this country as anyone. The one thing about the youth is they do have a voice and they're willing to learn and listen, but we definitely need to do a better job in terms of equipping them with tools — so that they might not have to go through the same things we went through. We need to find a way to set a path for the youth because we need their voices down the road beyond what they put on Tik Tok and Instagram.”

You've launched a culinary talent agency, restaurants, brands and wrote a lifestyle cookbook. What's next?

“I think it’d be to walk away from the daily grind of hospitality and go back to really building the agency with my sister. She’s been taking the mantle of the agency and running with it while I've been trying to build these other businesses. There's something to be said about what I built with my sister and I want to take it to the next level. The agency satisfies my need to be inside the hospitality industry because we represent people in the space, but at the same time, it imposes and inflicts a level of change while we do it. It’ll fulfill a lot of things we talked about in these two hours, including how we build tools and educate our youth.”

人生五味雜陳有時是一種動力,如今Trevor在推動食物及餐飲業話事權方面已儼然成為一種新勢力。過去兩年,他在其品牌「好味食品」(Ho Mei Foods)推出極富亞洲特色的辣醬、香料和茶品,其撰寫的《The Double Happiness Cookbook(雙喜食譜)》更入圍今年的「Taste Canada Awards (品味加拿大大賞)」,他說:「過去兩年對我來說是一個圓滿的時刻,我不知道是不是每個人都可以達致這種感覺,但或者這就是我致力推動的事。」

Trevor與妹妹雷綺蕙(Stephanie)共同創立了餐飲業經理人公司Quell ,以擴大黑人、原住民與有色人種(BIPOC)的代表性,他認為少數族裔要融入主流,必須擴大受眾層面。「我們實際與黑人和原住民面對同樣的問題,大家必須明白,要是沒有他們之前的抗爭,我們亞洲人現在根本沒有發言權。另一項很大的挑戰是,如何確保我們現在這些聲音不只困在自己圈子裏。」他舉例說,Stephanie早前參與了一個關於婦女和食物的研討會,九成聽眾都是有色人種婦女,顯然影響力仍然局限於小圈子,「如果聽眾有九成是白人男性,我才會覺得,其他人真的在聆聽我們。這是我們沒有意識到的 —— 我們需要尋求擴大受眾面的方法」。看來為亞裔以至有色人種平權,仍然任重道遠。

 

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