What To Do With Your Tea Ceremony during Social Distancing
Written by Rainbow Chan
with an Introduction by the Fête Chinoise Team
Photography by Mango Studios, Purple Tree Photography, and Rhythm Photography.
For many couples who were planning to tie the knot in 2020, to say that the wedding is starting to look a bit different is perhaps an understatement. Many couples may already feel the weight of reconsidering guest lists and venues. On top of this, for ethnic Chinese brides and/or grooms, they will have to consider how to handle the traditional tea ceremony for their families with social distancing. That being said, This is something that some couples may face despite the pandemic, as family members are sometimes unable to travel to weddings due to other health concerns.
The Chinese Tea Ceremony is an act to show respect and gratitude to parents and elderly for all the years of love and care. In turn, the family will express blessings for the newlyweds as they start their marriage as husband and wife. The tea ceremony also symbolizes that the bride and the groom officially belong into a new, extended family. During the ceremony, the bride and groom will address the relatives with their new titles while serving them tea.
Since you may not be able to physically serve tea to all your relatives during this season or if they’re abroad, here for 5 tips from our friend and Event Planner, Rainbow Chan on what you can still do to celebrate the tradition through an online ceremony.
1.You can still adorn the “Qun Kua” 裙褂
Photography by Purple Tree Photography.
Traditionally, brides wear the qun kua in the morning and sit on the bed to await the start of the fetch-the-bride session. Besides being a strong reflection of Chinese culture, the red colour of the qun kua symbolises luck, happiness and bountiful blessings, which is what all brides yearn for in marriage! Trends may come and go, but a qun kua is a symbol of Chinese tradition and culture.
During a socially-distanced ceremony, you can still adorn this beautiful and auspicious dress.
2.You can still prepare the tea
Photography by Rhythm Photography.
Chinese tea such as the Iron Goddess (tieguanyin) or Jasmine tea can be used during the ceremony. Two lotus seeds and red dates may be added into each cup, as they are said to bring fertility and offspring for the couple. The tea set used for the ceremony is meant to be a meaningful keepsake for the wedding.
Even though your relatives may not be able to sip the exact cup of tea you’ve prepared, the thought and tradition is all there! You can even send these ingredients to them beforehand for the symbolism and to make it easier for them.
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“The Chinese Tea Ceremony is an act to show respect and gratitude to parents and elderly for all the years of love and care.”
3.You Can Consider Changing the Traditional Venue(s)
Photography by Mango Studios.
Traditionally, the tea ceremony for the groom’s family is performed in the morning after the groom has “fetched” the bride home to his place. Then the tea ceremony for the bride’s side is conducted in the afternoon after she returns home from the groom’s side.
Over the past few years, newlyweds might rather have their tea ceremony right at the venue, followed by their western ceremony, cocktail and dinner reception. This saves time on traveling and is much more convenient for the guests since everything is happening at one location.
During these times, newlyweds may choose to host their tea ceremony in one of the family homes or their matrimonial home instead of going back and forth between two locations.
4.You can find a Helper to Host the Tea Ceremony Online
Photography by Rhythm Photography.
It is suggested to have a “fortune woman” – a woman with kids and a husband to conduct the ceremony. Remember to organize the order of family members by their seniority. Parents will be served first, then the grandparents, grand uncles and aunts, uncles and aunts, and then elder siblings.
Even though the ceremony may not be in person, it is still best to be prepared and have the list ready so that you don’t miss anyone in the family!
5.Finally, Take Your Positions
Photography by Purple Tree Photography.
The groom should be on the right and the bride should be on the left side. Make sure you have two red pillows so that kneeling will be more comfortable!
Generally, the tea ceremony should take approximately 30 to 45 minutes, depending on the number of people in your families. With online meetings, the time can be cut shorter.
Relatives can still wait for the “tea” but perhaps the new couples will raise the tea to each family member as a gesture of their respect.
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